Back in March, 2020, the shake up began. It was an exciting time. All of my entertainment work was cancelled overnight and a few weeks later, our other business closed due to government regulations. Pensioners were being paid extra benefits while those of us who had lost our employment were left to fend for ourselves.
It was an exciting time. Everything was starting to fall apart. The shift had begun.
Rewind back to 2006. We made a move out into the country to follow my partner’s dream to build a retreat. He’d dreamt of it his entire life and now he had the opportunity to make it a reality. It wasn’t my dream, but I wasn’t going to stand in the way of his.
The first few years were fine. I was still able to work in entertainment and he started his retreat. All was good until the 2011 floods. All business stopped, but on that same weekend, I did the training to become a Zumba instructor. That led me into a fitness career that lasted for eight years.
I learned a lot in that time, the main one being that I do not like 6am starts. But in that time, I became a personal trainer, I became qualified in most of the Zumba modules, boxing fitness, and I can teach beginners yoga. I became a pool lifeguard. I became an Inspired Spirit Coach, delving deeper into the world of manifesting.
And all because a short while before that I thought to myself, “I’d like to become qualified in something.”
But the entertainment bug started nagging at me again, and I became restless. I was no longer where I needed to be. I started performing again in 2015 and while that made me happy, deep down inside, I wasn’t happy.
I yearned to be living back on the Gold Coast, back amongst the action. Instead, I was living on a huge property outside a country town and hour from Brisbane. It was a beautiful property, but it wasn’t where my soul wanted to be. I’d given so much of myself in supporting others that I decided it was time to stop and find me. I put on a happy face, but deep down inside, I was emotionally struggling. I started listening to my heart and taking steps to move forward, even if I didn’t know how things would unfold and sometimes things got quite intense.
I put my online skills to work and started posting things about manifesting the life you want online. Even though I was in this position I didn’t want to be in, I knew it was possible to change things. I also knew I was in this position because of choices I had made and beliefs I had created.
Soon, my fitness career started to fall away. Through management changes and transfers, I lost my job three times. There were people who were concerned that I no longer had a job, but to me each time, that was exciting.
When you start asking for what you want, things will start to fall apart. The things that are no longer serving you. The “safety nets” you’re hanging on to instead of taking a leap of faith. If you don’t take the leap, the Universe will make you take it. You can’t keep doing the same old thing and expect new results.
You can lose your job, relationships can fall apart. Sometimes life needs to go off road, four wheel driving, to get you on track for what you’re asking for.
By the time 2020 rolled around, I’d had enough. I’d taken a break from posting regularly online a few years before that because I didn’t like where my mental health was heading from the isolation. I knew I had to stop and go deep within myself to get myself sorted first. I’d started learning about stand up comedy and was searching for someone to study under on a regular basis, but couldn’t find. I needed break. I’d had enough of three hour round trips just to get to gigs. I was honestly ready to just exist for a while.
So when everything went into lockdown in March, it was exciting. I was excited to see where all of this was heading. Due to COVID, the business I no longer wanted to run shut down. The property that had been on the market for five years in an area that was a nice place to drive through but not to drive to suddenly became a hot destination and it sold. While I couldn’t wait to get back there, others were suddenly wanting to leave the city in droves.
International comedy teachers who I’d been following took their courses online. Here I was, thousands of kilometres away and now I could work directly with them. I studied with interstate comedy teachers who took their courses online, too. I found an online daily writing group, and my understanding of comedy writing has taken a positive turn.
The best part, I had the break from life I so desperately wanted.
Everything fell apart so everything could fall into place.
Take a look back at your life in 2020 and take a step back before that. What were you asking for, even if it was for a fleeting moment? I don’t for one second deny that 2020 was a tough time for some, but is there the possibility that opportunities were missed because of only seeing the ‘reality’ of everything falling apart?
The shake up certainly showed gaps that have been failing us and how many of us live on autopilot.
I’ve met a lot of people who gained a lot from 2020. It was a major upheaval for me (part of it was downsizing from seven bedrooms and a shipping container to a two bedroom unit and a storeroom). It was a stressful time and it took a lot of intentionally staying the course energetically to achieve the desired outcome, to attract the right people to make it happen, and allow everything to unfold at the right time.
Manifesting what you want is an art. It requires you to hold the course energetically, to see the signs, to see what can’t be seen and know it when you see it. It requires you to look at life differently and see that everything, even when things are falling apart, is working for you.
My life is taking a new course. It’s interesting to watch as things unfold, to see what doors are closing and new ones that are opening. I am looking forward to this new beginning.