The Illusion of Failure – How an Apparent Negative is Actually a Positive

This week, I stood on stage and delivered my very first stand up comedy routine…

It’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks with the graduation show only two weeks after the two day comedy course…

Nothing like a bit of pressure to pull your socks up!

It was a little daunting flying by the seat of my pants as to what I was actually going to talk about, but once it was locked in and I was prepared, I started to get excited…

Being on stage is nothing new for me, I love it up there, so I didn’t have to worry about actually being on stage and speaking into a microphone BUT delivering a comedy routine is a whole new ballgame!

I was excited right up until I walked onstage and I really enjoyed being on stage, but as soon as I walked off, a flatness started to flow through me…

And it stayed for the rest of the night…

I let it go and just allowed myself to feel the feels, knowing everything would come to light the next day…

I remember the last time I felt like that was when I entered a talent quest with a band and completely forgot the words…

I remember thinking back then that I had two choices – to crawl under a rock and hide or to find a way to remember lyrics to songs…

I chose the latter…

That choice led me to touring the world with performances on international stages…

What could have been seen as a failure was one of the greatest gifts of my life all because I chose to learn from it and use it to my advantage…

I can now easily and effortlessly remember lyrics to songs AND that same technique helped me to remember my comedy routine last night…

The experiences I’ve had over the years of things going wrong, that could have been interpreted as failures, have led me to be comfortable onstage…

I’m no longer afraid of anything going wrong because I know I can take it in my stride…

Because there is no such thing as failure…

I didn’t fail last night…

I actually did really well for my first time…

I felt flat because I pushed my comfort zone boundaries…

I spoke about things and did things I would never have done in the past, purely because I was listening to someone else…

This time, I didn’t listen to anyone except the course teacher…

This one was all mine with no input from anyone else around me…

That’s HUGE!!

And my ego felt the need to let me know it didn’t feel safe so it entertained the flatness…

I let myself process the flat feeling for the next 24 hours, understanding that it’s a good thing and that it’s actually showing me the way…

I realised that that feeling is showing me this is a major turning point in my life…

I feel like learning comedy is filling in so many blanks for me…

It’s something I NEED to do and right now I have the same choices I had after that talent quest…

I can go and hide under a rock because I didn’t feel great afterwards OR I can take the bull by the horns and get back on the horse!

I’ve realised that it’s all come down to my current ‘undeveloped skills’…

The script writing and delivery…

When I entered the talent quest, I was an ok singer but I’ve since learned how to sing…

I’ve learned how to remember lyrics…

And I’ve learned to feel comfortable onstage…

All I need to do now is hone my new comedy skills…

So, I’ve thrown myself back in the deep end and registered for open mic…

While pushing comfort zone boundaries is painful, there’s so much growth it becomes addictive…

Regardless of your desires, don’t let fear of failure stop you from pursuing your dreams…

Don’t listen to the people around you…

If you’re called to do something extraordinary…DO IT!! Even if someone else doesn’t agree with you…

The life you want is on the other side of your fears…

Focus on that and take a chance on yourself…

Because there is NO SUCH THING AS FAILURE…

You don’t have to be the winner…

You don’t have to be the best on the night…

You could even crash and burn!!!

You only have to push your own comfort zone boundaries and take what you’ve learned from the experience to move forward…

The apparent failures are a blessing in disguise and a God given gift…

THEY’RE SHOWING YOU THE WAY!!!

I’m now starting to feel the power within me after having conquered this challenge and the excitement of the challenges that lay ahead with moving forward into a career…

And the exciting life that’s waiting for me as a result!

Don’t hold yourself back for others…

Don’t let fear rule your life…

And see your apparent ‘failures’ as a positive step towards your dreams…

The key to achieving your dreams is taking a chance on yourself, seeing and feeling the guidance from your higher self for what it is and growing from the experience…

That’s all it is, so what are you waiting for?

Kathryn xx

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